Fights can seem so bizarre to outsiders, just as bizarre as they actually are ; )
Empirically, one doesn't notice that when one's in the middle of a fight. Then it appears often that the other one is 'guilty'.
We are likely to say things like "You did this and that", "Only because of you..." or "It's your fault...".
Instead of saying "You did this and that" you could say
"When you did this, I felt really...", for example.
(only take the most important; too much unnecessary info would weaken your argument)
Instead of saying "Only because you..." you could say
"Just because I was so happy about..." or
"...because you're so important to me..." or
"...because I have the need for xyz", for example.
Now I feel xyz...
Instead of saying "It's your fault that..."
you could simply do without recrimination.
Start:
Today you could show yourself a conflict that you had with somebody recently.
In your thoughts you could tell this person very calmly when you felt angry or sad or disappointed or any other kind of difficulty.
Stay with yourself, your feelings, your needs.
Release tensions, unwind your face, mouth, jawbones, tongue, cheeks, forehead, temples, half smile, breathe in and out calmly, sense your breathing in your entire body.
You could breathe for 3 minutes today, just breathe and do NOTHING.
thoughts of peace for the USA : )
The past is gone. It would be helpful to find out about the conflict now so that you can find another better solution next time.
Naturally, there would be peace on earth if mankind hadn't invented war.
So it seems to be logical that man, all men are the key to peace.
Who could bring peace to the world?
The others? He or he or she or he or you?
No. Not even 'you' can bring peace to the world.
Only 'I' can do that. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'...
Start:
Today you could dedicate your thoughts to peace.
Relieve tensions, loosen tongue and jaws, half smile or slight grin in your face, bring all your attention to your body sensations.
You could think: I bring peace : )
If you'd like to just look at the painting and think of NOTHING, that's alright : ) Just as you like it and feel comfortable...
I bring peace
thoughts of peace for Iraq : )
If you know how peace feels you might imagine spreading this feeling all over the land.
Just like a cloud of good thoughts that spills out of you and reaches every tiny little corner of the country that you want to send your peace to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You could do this every day with another country.
From now on, every day we will show you one painting from the Marici project "One world - one future". There is one painting for every single one of the 208 countries and nations of the world, together they unite to one big painting of peace.
If you'd like to know more, click here:
http://www.marici.de/UntitledFrameset-8.htm
"From time to time there are days when I must do 10 things at the same time."
Needs must! If you feel okay with it!
You don't?
Then it's up to you:
You can organize these 10 things so that you can do them one after another.
Or you can change your perception and attitude so that you can at least enjoy the unavoidable.
Start:
You could remember the last time when you did too many things at once. Bring that feeling of stress back into your mind. Do you remember? What a stressful day, huh?
And now, today and here, you may laugh about that, or smile, or grin heartily or even roar with laughter!
Be delighted, you survived it; every day a new sun rises again : )
*
delight
in every moment
It's a matter of perception. We create it on our own.
When you're ready to be delighted intentionally even though or maybe just because you feel stressed at this moment, you could notice how your feelings for the situation change.
A tense situation can change so easily into a pleasant one, just with a simple smile or grin...
"Sometimes I have no sense for silence at all!"
We might be listening to loud music, TV's on, we are on the telephone, eating a chocolate bar or anything else, and along the way we think about something, doodle on a notebook, run around, carry things from here to there... all at once.
Alright! That's fine! Super!
As long as we know what we're actually doing...
Start:
When you do several things at once today, you could do that quite consciously.
At the same time observe everything with all your senses and enjoy it! Breathe, half smile, see, feel, scent, hear, taste, everything's possible!
*
pleasure in everything
The more intentional we look at the details, the more intense the experience of the moment gets.
Are you often so stressed that you don't even have time to stop and take a short reprieve?
Something's wrong then...
Don't you dare to pause or do you think you're more effective when you do something without taking breaks?
Especially when you're most stressed it's very helpful to pause and gather your thoughts. To be able to continue with a fresh mind. More calm and better than before.
Start:
Today you simply could take a short break. Preferably when you feel you're under pressure.
Sit down or stand up, in case you're doing a standing activity at the moment. Relax, half smile, let all the stress around you and all the thoughts moving in your head pass you by just for this single moment. You could think of the words below or of any other words that comfort you and calm you down. (What you'd like to be right now is best.) Observe your entire body. In- and exhale very quietly, very intentional and concentrated, 3 times or as often as you'd like to. Take your time : )
*
confident
calm and strong
How does that pause in the middle of the storm feel? Were you able to relax? Could you turn of the stress for a little while? How do you feel after that?
Maybe you're worried your colleagues or others could think you're lazy because you do NOTHING; then, just retreat to the bathroom. So you can spare possible jokes or discussions ; )
In communication between people it might happen that open conversation is avoided because one thinks that he knows what the other thinks and the other should also know what the one thinks...
You think so!
Interpersonal conflicts can be created easily when too much is being thought and not enough is being said free spoken.
Especially when it comes to sensitive topics like critique, dissension or needs and feelings.
If we do not talk things out, we might evoke conflicts that collect and get stronger; we carry these conflicts in us and that can even make us sick.
We can take better care of ourselves when we get more straightforward. It could be helpful to boost our courage and our self-confidence.
Start:
Today you could show yourself plainly a situation when you are inhibited to speak out what maybe aggrieves you, instead you believe that the other person must/should know on his/her own what's going on.
But he/she is no visionary, he/she can only know about matters when you speak them out openly in a friendly way and tell about your feelings. And that's for the well-being of the both of you : )
Relax your face, mouth, tongue, jaws, half smile for yourself, breathe very intentional, in and out, courageous - open : )
*
courageous - open
First of all, you may assume that the other person has no idea of what's going on in your thoughts.
That's why you're allowed to tell friendly how you feel and what you need. It's also good for the other one to know that you're not feeling fine. Otherwise, how could he/she change anything for you?
Avoid YOUmessages (you have, you are, but you!) and, instead, just tell about your feelings, needs and experiences.
This is how you stay with the truth, on the other hand you might be mistaken about the thoughts of the other person...
There is something amazing about the word combination "send love"!
What's that supposed to be?
It sounds so goofy...
Possibly. But this simple little combination of two words has such a fantastic effect, it became my favorite all-round word combination. What happened?
In the past I saw people that aroused antipathy, nasty thoughts or similar feelings in me, I couldn't stop that quickly enough, I couldn't stop it before I thought it... Oh, so gross, no, how embarrassing, oh no, hideous...
Before one's brain creates such thoughts one could make use of the all-round word combination "send love" and distract the bitter thoughts. Especially when one doesn't feel anything like love.
It works. Eventually, WE are the head of our brain, right? When our little friend is out of control and wants to think of something silly, we can simply change that; very easily!
Start:
You could get aware of a situation when you had unintentional ugly thoughts about somebody. The other person noticed that probably; our thoughts might be silent but they are very communicative as well.
If you'd like to spare that, IMMEDIATELY think the words "send love" when you notice that you're about to think something stupid.
*
"send love"
Actually we can't even explain what's happening there. One can only find it out on one's own. The more one uses it, the easier it gets.
Maybe it's enough for an explanation to say that there's friendly energy being created? Friendly energy that's positive for us.
And then it's positive for our environment. Respectively it saves them our trashy thoughts, and that's nice...
Now I am here.
And now I'm gone.
...oops, back again...
...and already gone again...
Does that happen to you from time to time, too?
In one moment you are present and woosh! in the next moment you don't even notice anything around you anymore.
Because a) you're dreaming or because b) you're worried about something.
If b) is the right answer for you, you might try something now.
Start:
You could detect when you loose yourself in thoughts. Observe what kind of thoughts those are:
Are they maybe memories; good ones (+) or not so good ones (-) ?
Or are they dreams; what are they about? Are they comforting you (+) or are they about a difficult matter (-) ?
Or maybe they are plans; do you plan to do something beautiful (+) or do you want to bother somebody (-) ?
Maybe it's one time this, another time that?
Observe yourself and if you'd like to, make a +/- list.
Relax your face, smile, take some intentional calm breaths, replenish with good words : )
*
happy
light
(or the words: send love)
What are the results of your balance? Do you have more (+) or more (-)?
If there are more (+) then you are probably doing fine, aren't you?
If there are more (-) then it's quite likely that you could do better...
And YOU can really take care of that. Simply stop your (-) thinkings and replace them with one or two good words.
That won't change your life instantly but it'll change your mood! And so, other things will get better, too.
You don't believe that? Try it... : )
"If you want to be treated well, treat others well."
What? What benefits are there for ME?
Are you asking yourself that now?
It's very simple:
Selfish people should still see that everything we send out to others will return sooner or later to us. That would allow selfish people to be good against others.
It's all about generousness. You can be good against others without harming yourself!
Start:
You could start with a small matter today, something that's easy for you. Think of a situation when you usually would push your own advantage. And now imagine leaving the advantage to another person.
For example, someone in the supermarket or in traffic jam wants to queue-jump. Normally you'd maybe fight for your place. Imagine you generously let the other person overtake you. THANK YOU!
Or you're having a meal and you'd usually take care to get the biggest portion. In your thoughts give it to someone else now. THANK YOU!
Or think of a beggar. Normally you'd think he should go and work just like everybody else and you. In your thoughts you're giving him a coin now. THANK YOU!
Straighten up and unwind, loosen your tongue and jaws, breathe consciously and calmly and experience your body sentiments. Do NOTHING... it feels so good... : )
*
If one succeeds to free his action from calculating thoughts, one can feel really free.
So free to be good against others even if there don't seem to be any benefits...
It's astonishing how many unexpected options can suddenly pop up : )
"You work, you make mistakes."
That's what an older colleague always used to say. So he succeeded to free the younger and inexperienced from big pressure. The consequence: less mistakes!
We might transfer this cognition to life in general.
We do our best. 'Mistakes' are natural in this matter. Admitting mistakes to us and others makes things easier to handle.
Easy things feel good. One will learn more easily when one feels good.
Why should we make it hard for us or others?
Start:
You could take something that you adjudge yourself for today and make it an important part of your development.
Maybe you adjudge yourself because of awkward behaviour like irascibility or addictive behaviour or complexes or blockades or lacking skills or whatever it may be.
Relax your face, loosen the tenseness in your jawbones and tongue, smile at yourself and breathe calm and free, in and out.
There you could think this sentence:
*
I may make this mistake
because I learn from it
Then remember a 'mistake' that that you adjudged someone else for. This person also has the right to make that 'mistake' and learn from it.
When you start being generous against yourself you'll see how easy it gets to be generous against others.
When somebody does something, we might get annoyed.
It might be helpful then to avoid the conflict and relax first.
We might acknowledge that the other person is doing his/her best possible. Then we are able to look at the conflict in a more objective way, independent from our emotions.
Interrupting the dynamic of a fight and forbearing from it is the first important step. With this distance we can get calm and react in a much more effective and constructive way.
Start:
If you're in the beginning of an argument you could think: "The person is doing or saying that because it's the only thing that seems to him/her to be right now. I accept this opinion even if it's very different from my opinion. I will get calm now and talk about the issue later."
Relax totally, especially your face and jaws with tongue, breathe calmly, allow a half smile : )
You could breathe very silently for 2 minutes and 40 seconds today. Notice all the sounds around you, notice all your thoughts and always get back to your breathing with your concentration. Your senses focus on your breath and your body and NOTHING else : )
*
How do you feel when you exit the spiral of arguments?
What other emotions besides the familiar ones do you feel?
How did you use the strength that was created by DOING NOTHING?
"(S)he must not do that!"
No? Why not?
Basically, on this planet one can do everything. Just take a look around.
Most peculiar things are being created by people.
There are dictatorships, wars, murders, burglary, exploitation, oppression, ecological destruction, starvation disasters, luxury, decadence, liberty excesses, famous people, drugs, virtual life, mass euphoria, religions, aid organisations, research, languages, cultures, art, politics - and this is just a short excerpt of things humans created up to now.
One can do everything; just as long as others tolerate it and just until there's reactions and consequences.
Indignation costs energy. Instead of just bristling, we could use this energy gainfully as we campaign concentrated and composed FOR us or something.
Start:
Today you might remember a situation when you just bristled at somebody's behaviour but did not go in for something.
Show yourself plainly, once again, the reason for the indignation, then breathe consciously 3 times, and feel free to smile : )
In your thoughts about the person, you now have the opportunity to formulate what feelings you had and which of your needs wasn't satisfied.
For example: "It made me sad that you called me a stupid cow yesterday, because my need for respectful acquaintance wasn't satisfied."
Or: "Last week you said you'd call me but you didn't, I felt disappointed, my need for reliability wasn't fulfilled."
Or: " You said you'd like to live together with me but I should pay for everything, that overburdens me. My need for equality is not fulfilled."
Or: "Yesterday I came home and saw that you ate all my cookies. I felt frustrated because i found my need for respect for my belongings not fulfilled."
*
Everything we do will lead to consequences. That's why everybody is responsible for their own deeds.
Being aware of this makes us free to do everything or to do nothing. And to concede it to others. When something bothers you, you should speak about it.
It might be really helpful to tell about your feelings and needs without any indignation.
"To have one's feet on the ground..."
Another saying...
No problem at all!
Start:
You could stand up, feet hip size apart, slightly crooked knees, arms hanging loosely on the sides.
Then, move your body forward over the toes and back over the heels. Swing gently back and forth, slowly, so that you can keep the balance. Play with the center of your gravity. Confidently close your eyes.
After having swung back and forth a few times, commute between your feet. Consciously feel the weight that is now spreading equally all over your feet. Stand still for a few more breaths and feel the contact and connection of your feet with the ground.
*
Down to earth means the present moment that you're in right now. When you feel your feet on the ground you can sense the earth holding you. As long as you keep the balance in the middle.
This exercise is good for those who feel they've fallen out of their middle and want to center again.
"We reap what we sow."
Who can possibly come up with something like that?
This saying maybe a few days old already.
Because it's traditional up to today we might think that there's something true about it.
In this coherence, what would it mean if we expected enviousness, a pack of lies and cheating, if we assume that others want to harm us or that things will fail?
Even if our environment were independent from our thoughts and expectations, still the one that thinks of such negative things would receive his invoice therewith: (s)he must live with those negative expectations and bear them.
How uncomfortable...
Start:
A person that you usually have negative expectations of might pass you by today. Pick someone easy, maybe a neighbor, the grumpy salesperson, a colleague or someone whose eyes seem to tell you that (s)he thinks about you respectively dislikes you.
Or take someone that you dislike, even though you don't really know this person, maybe just because (s)he seems unsightly to your eyes.
When you come across this person, in the first split second, you could intentionally think something completely different than you usually think:
That is to say "send love".
If that appears to be too unfamiliar or too odd for you, you might also think "send blitheness". That's just as good.
It's helpful when you relax the face, put on a half smile and maybe breathe consciously 1 or 2 times.
*
How did it feel?
Which thoughts came up? Could you remain with your benevolent thoughts or did you turn to your usual thinking again?
How did the other person react? What differences could you notice? Could you reap anything new after your sowing? ; )
Everybody who wants to change his/her thoughts into benevolent thoughts can do that very easily with the help of awareness and endurance : )
Do you sometimes wake up at night?
In this moment of waking up, how does your face feel?
And, actually, how do you feel when you wake up at night? Although you could sleep more...
When we realize that we woke up we have different options to react.
If we turn around and sleep in, everything is fine.
If we stay awake, maybe even for a longer while, when we toss and turn, we are likely to feel uneasy. Possibly our face might even tense up!
Although night is for recreation actually...
In case that happens more often to us we might think of NOT staying awake already while waking up. And because we do NOT want that it might be even more exhausting to still have to do it: staying awake.
Start:
If you wake up this night or in one of the following nights you could make a small experiment:
As soon as you realize that you're waking up you could smile.
Just like that, even if you don't feel like!
You might come across an interesting phenomena : )
Casually you could think of a nice word, e. g. 'relaxed' or 'feel rested' or 'happy', 'satisfied', whatever comes into your mind and makes you strong. It enriches the effect...
*
Probably you'll be awake for a little longer. But that's easier to take with nice comfortable thoughts than with nasty ones. Don't you think so?
In our lives we are accompanied by so many things. Most of them are supposed to help us and make our lives easier.
There's the bed, we lie and sleep in it, it's comfortable, the blanket that keeps us warm, the water-tap that gives us water, the toilet that sometimes even has a heating, ready to serve us, there's clothes, a table, a chair, food, a plate, a cup, the bike, the car, the underground, an airplane, the telephone, the computer, the pen, glasses, paper, books... and a few things more : )
Often we use those things as if they were most normal. And we only see how precious they are after we've lost them.
There is a positive effect when we appreciate ourselves more. There's the same positivity when we get aware of the things around us and appreciate them more.
Start:
Today you might get aware of every single thing that is there to serve and help you.
If you like, give attention to all the things that are around you; thank them or be thankful THAT they exist - they exist for you : )
Thank you cup, thank you shoes, thank you pen, thank you things and stuff!
Loosen all your face muscles, jawbones, tongue, allow a half smile, breathe in and breathe out, conscious and calm with every single breath : )
*
The word 'Thank you' is so helpful because it shows you that you received something.
Even if the chair you're sitting on is a matter of course for you - you can give yourself the feeling that you got a 'gift' in this way.
And that just feels good, doesn't it?
Costs NOTHING, by the way : ))
Coming it strong, right?
"When I get up on the wrong side in the morning, everything will fail, the whole day..."
Well, maybe. But it needn't be ; )
If we let ourselves be influenced by the first little dilemmas of the day and tune in to the belief that the whole day will be like this... what chance is there left to make it different?
And how could the day take course if we just take the dilemmas easy? And allow ourselves to feel good on the inside?
Maybe the day didn't take course like we thought it would but we needn't call it 'wrong'.
Start:
You could carry a word with you today that calms you, strengthens you, builds you up, encourages you or helps you in any other way.
For example, if you have a difficult task to do you could think of 'easy' several times, when you're not concentrated think of 'fresh' again and again, when scared think of 'safe and protected', when angry think of 'peaceful and happy', when you're in a bad mood think of 'happy', when you have to deal with someone who's difficult for you to handle you could think 'send love' again and again. (It's sufficient to think of the words only!)
And, additionally, if you succeed to relax your face for a while and to smile at yourself, that's twice as good for you : )
*
First and foremost you can send the good feeling to yourself so that you're strengthened and fine.
It's fascinating how often this takes over on other people around us.
And if not, then at least you're in the good mood, feeling fine : )
The first thought is often the best one.
Why actually?
The first thought is mostly spoken without any thinking, it's born out of feelings. You can also call it intuition.
Getting aware of our decisions we come across two categories: There's helpful decisions and others that are not helpful, for ourselves or also for others.
When our decision turns against our emotional well-being and consequences bring us malaise, we can notice that. Then it's good to go on thinking about the best solution.
But still very often your first intuitional ideas or decisions are the best ones.
Observing this more and more often lets us put more trust in our own feeling.
Start:
If you'd like to breathe today, sit with a straight spine, still relaxed, in a comfortable position.
Relax your face, jawbones, tongue, half smile, and right before you start, pick a word that's going to be the word of your strengthening today.
Take the first one that comes into your mind... as long as it is good for your well-being. If you don't think it's good, just find a new one : )
*
In the inside we know best what we need. It's a sign of trust in ourselves when we listen better to our feeling and to ourselves.
Have a nice day!
The urge to get more than we already have is pushing us forward. This can be good because it brings motivation.
It's big deficiency when we let ourselves be pushed to want more and more of something than it is good for us or others.
The urge towards 'too much' in us shows us that there is a 'too little' in us.
You can't always find out quickly which unconscious 'too little' it is. But there's one thing that always helps when there's an unconscious 'too little'...
Love.
And for this we don't need anybody and NOTHING but ourselves!
Self love and charity are enough, we can give both of them to ourselves. There's always enough of it, when we need it. We just need to say it.
Start:
Whenever you take too much and you take more than is good for you, you can get aware of the fact that you got deficiency.
You could confront that deficiency with appreciation and love today. If you can't sense a feeling of love in that situation, that's fine. It's just fine when you repeat the word 'love' in your mind. Depending on how big your deficiency is you might repeat it more often or also for a longer time.
Breathe and totally relax your face. Tell yourself:
*
love - love
love for me
Sounds goofy? Possibly.
But that's beside the point, because it works. Try it : )
...then NOTHING can become everything!
What?
Who can tell about the situation when you want to have more and more even though you already have enough? When we're still insatiable even though we get what we want.
People who experienced drugs can tell about that. This phenomena also appears in alcohol and also in daily things like eating, Internet, TV, collecting, shopping, working, laziness, backbiting, earning money, making complaints, bringing someone to trial, cleanliness, disorderliness, boasting; some may know it with sports. Or people on a diet.
Basically there's every form and possibility of 'too much' in our life. Our world is so free, it gives us all the forms of 'too much'. We can decide freely how we want to experience the 'too much'.
It's definitely interesting why we feel the need for this or that 'too much'.
And it's even more interesting how we can slow down the rotary spiral or stop it.
Start:
Today you could choose a topic or a thing that you'd like to have less of. Pick something easy!
Maybe it's a quarter hour of channel-hopping in the evening, the third seconds of dessert, checking emails or facebook ten times an hour, the 20th cigarette, or the last glass, or the 4th chocolate bar or whatever satisfies you in moderation but can't make you happy with 'more'.
Just observe yourself while being excessive, while you reach the point when you can't be satisfied anymore. Remember that this point exists.
And if you succeed, remember the feeling you have right before you reach the point.
That's the whole exercise. NOTHING more...
Now you could breathe, maybe 2 minutes and 15 seconds? Or 3 times? Relax your face, your mouth with tongue and jawbones, half smile, breathe consciously and in your natural rhythm, you'll become more and more calm : )
*
Could you recognize the point already, the point when 'enough' turns into 'too much'?
The feeling you have about this turning point can help you to get to know your own limits. That's why it's so helpful to observe it precisely and remember it.
Then you can go on just like before. Maybe you'd like to see how it is to stop before the limit another time.
It's always your decision and it's always in your own will, that's the beautiful about it.
Just like the glass that is often half empty but half full we like to value our deeds critically instead of benevolently.
Maybe we could have acted in another way, better way. Seeing this is good. It's required to do things better the next time.
But leaving too much space for depreciative critique works demoralizing and not improving. That'll discourage us.
Delight, even about the smallest achievements, can be immensely motivating. Delight is delight, it's good, fun and costs NOTHING : )
Start:
You could think of a situation today when you made a mistake and judged yourself afterwards. Maybe you tried to behave less angry, expecting, resentful, dominant or unpunctual or disaffected or whatever.
And then you fell into old behaviors again.
Today be delighted about your decision to change and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Every single attempt is enough reason to be delighted and may motivate you to go on. Every day, every hour, every second again.
Relax, loosen your face muscles, tongue and jawbones, conscious and calm breath and half smile, it makes you so beautiful : )
*
Delight is a state that we can create consciously.
As soon as we notice that we care about the 'bad' stuff too much we get to have the opportunity to change our view.
The glass just feels so much better when it's half full instead of half empty : )
When we want to learn something new, mostly we imagine how it would be if we only already had the new ability. That's a nice feeling! Inspiring and pleasing : )
And then we begin. Practice or learn. That's likely to be not as inspiring. From time to time we also give up on goals because they seem to be too hard to reach.
Let's take the example of anger.
It's a nice image not being angry anymore. When we start to deal with that we can see it very clear in front of our inner eye: forthwith we are always totally relaxed, always able to react in a friendly way.
So far so good.
That'll maybe work quite well for a while, our reactions are more composed.
And then all of a sudden we go ballistic again. And possibly we think "I'll never learn that...". And with this attitude that might be right ; )
So, how could we do it better?
Start:
You could think of something that you'd like to change today. Maybe it's anger or punctuality, shyness or creditableness or whatever you might think of.
For difficult tasks you could try to take them step by step.
If your topic is anger for example, take one of the many occasions that normally make you angry quickly. For the beginning one is enough, pick something easy still.
When you're confronted with the situation the next time, comment on what you experience.
"Picked the wrong waiting queue in the supermarket again... yeah, that's annoying (breathe). Today i choose to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
"I dropped my marmalade roll upside down on the floor again... What a mess! (breathe) Today i choose to stay calm. (breathe and smile)"
"Oh, someone else's hair in the sink again... Disgusting! (breathe) Today I decide to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
"Oh, he or she is doing this and that again... Yes, that's really unpleasant (breathe). Today I decide to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
Relax, loosen tensions in your face, your jaws and tongue, take a half smile, in- and exhale quietly and consciously : )
2 minutes and 20 seconds? Or 3 times? Just as you like : )
*
butter roll upside down - calm and relaxed : )
How did the situation feel? Which feelings in you could you discover?
Was there a new feeling in the old situation? Compared to your old reaction, how was your new reaction?
If you were able to react in a new way or if you didn't react in a new way but still were able to observe yourself. that's success!
You can be happy! We're also happy for you!
"I never really was able to do this!"
"That was never one of my magnitudes"
Aha.
It's always been like that? And it's left to be like that?
Good.
In case you'd like to change something about that, make it more better or easier, you could start now to re-think the matter.
Maybe it happened before that you couldn't cycle or swim. Just until the point when you learned to cycle and swim... because you decided to broaden and change your abilities.
The decision to do that was just a thought. This thought was powerful. When we start to think about changing things we already started to carry them out.
With the power of strong good thoughts, with our decision.
Start:
You could think of something that in your opinion "has always been" like that. Something that you might like to change.
Being on time never really was your strength?
Or did you always feel uncomfortable with new things? Or did you never make your own money before? Or has it never been your magnitude to be independent from others? Or did you always think of yourself as a pessimist? Or maybe you never really could admit your own faults in front of others?
That's totally alright for somewhen you decided to do like that. Even if you can't remember it.
If you'd like to decide to change this today you can simply do it.
Relax, relax your face muscles, your tongue and your jaws, put on a half smile.
When you in- and exhale consciously now you could think: "I now decide to learn the ability XY. I can do that... (e. g. cycling, swimming, being on time or whatever you'd like to be able to do from now on)."
*
Yes - I can
After 2 minutes of breathing you possibly won't have learned the ability : )
But you already did the most important step: you made your decision. You'll be amazed about yourself, future things could go along just like that...
Have the heart to believe in yourself! You can do more than you'd ever imagine : )
You can decompose an experience into several segments when you'd like to feel more intensely.
When you put your attention on every single step, you can feel every step much better. Details become more present.
Many know this from unpleasant affairs. You notice every disturbing little thing if you're once focused on "the disturbing things".
But you can do it the same way with focusing on "the nice things": )
Start:
You could pick an easy pleasant activity today. A short course is totally enough. Comment on every detail that you see, hear and experience.
For example: You might comment on how you wash your hands.
How you stand in front of the washbowl, how you open the water-tap with your one hand, how you pull your hand back and move it under the water, how you move your other hand under the water, how you feel the water running over your hands, how you rub your hands, how one hand takes the soap, how you rub it between your hands, how the soap spreads all over your hands and fingers, how you rub your soapy hands, how the water runs over your hands again and washes the soap away, how you rub your hands until all the soap is gone, how your hand moves to the water-tap and turns it off, how the last drops over water run, how you shake the water off your hands, how the water drops fly around, how you take the towel, the contact between the towel and your hands, how you rub your hands with the towel until your hands are dry.
You could breathe consciously while you do that, probably this doesn't even take 2 minutes...
Or you could do some breathings now; relax face with a half smile, loosen jawbones and tongue, in- and exhale silently and consciously, it's very simple : )
*
So many things have not come to pass. You simply washed your hands, just like a thousand times before.
Really?
"I feel so bad!"
Who didn't experience that feeling before?
When we notice that we feel uncomfortable we say that we feel bad.
And, in fact, mostly this is because we focus on the thing that makes us feel uneasy.
In this moment we feel less of our actual presence, our body itself and our body senses.
What if we change our attention now? We can do that, even if there are circumstances that make us feel uneasy.
We just need to feel ourselves, feel good...
Start:
You could try to focus on feeling today in order to really feel yourself.
For example you might feel every single drop of water falling on your skin when you shower, every single tooth feels the brush rubbing and cleaning, when you walk along a street feel the ground under your feet and the gentle breeze in your hair, the sun on your skin and its warmth, the tasty liquid in your mouth when you drink, the air sliding down your trachea...
You could feel everything around you and think:
*
I feel - so good : )
Sensation of reality is quite a subjective affair.
There's lots of good feelings every day and you can feel them all if you just get aware of them; and thereby feel good.
How do you feel when you concentrate on a state of your choice? How do you feel when you get aware that you can feel good? In every situation?
When we're very busy, it might be difficult for us to give into conscious breathing.
There is a nice possibility to make it easier for us: We can simply feel the breath with the hands!
Start:
When you sit or lie and breathe today you could put your hands on your belly, on the sides of your ribcage or on your chest right under your wishbones. You could also put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. Just as it comforts you. Maybe you'll try the different ways?
You could feel your breath for 2 minutes and 15 seconds today.
Relax yourself and your face, jawbones and tongue, half smile. Observe your physical breathing consciously. Every time your thoughts drift away, get them back to your breathing in a friendly but concrete way : )
*
feel your breath
How did you feel about your breath when you put your hands on? How did you manage with your concentration?
When we feel too excited we might try to put our hands on our body and come to silence in this way.
Peace is a beautiful thing.
If you wouldn't have to fight anymore, if nobody harmed you anymore, if you needn't be mean against others anymore, if nobody shot others anymore, if bombs were not thrown anymore, no children killed, no men, no women...
That's lots of advantages.
How often do you find yourself non-peaceful? Thoughts that are actually quite feisty: "He's about to fail... and he deserves it!" or "I'll blow you away just like this, you bloody middle lane driver!" or "Aim and: bang!" or "Damn it, stupid butter wrapping!" or "You should be quartered, you damned entangled cable!" or maybe you can think of any other examples?
Start:
Today you could get aware of situations of inner war. How often do we think non-peacefully? The next times it happens to you you might get aware of it. Then you could be happy about it, happy because you noticed it. And maybe breathe 3 times : )
If you'd like to breathe consciously for 2 minutes today, you could start now. Relax yourself, release tensions in your face, jawbones and tongue, concentrate with all your senses on your breathing. Let noises and thoughts pass you by silently. You could think of the word 'peace' or 'peaceful' today.
*
peace for me
How could world peace be possible when we fight 'small wars' in our head from time to time?
Most of us would like to be happy. But when are we happy?
For many of us happiness lies in the future:
When I'm grown up I can do whatever I want and be happy, children think;
When I'm finished with school I can be happy, teenagers think;
When I finish my training I can be happy, young adults think;
or when I finally have a job, or
when I reach a higher career level, or
when I make more money, or
when I get a boyfriend or girlfriend, or
when I get my own house, or
when I finally have a family, or
when there's holidays, when the children are out of the house, when I retire...
Happiness, is it a point in time or a space of time?
Does happiness always lie in the future?
If we assume it to be only there, we would never get to have it in the present...
Start:
Today you could get aware of your happiness as you find it under the given circumstances.
The things you have are enough of a reason to feel happy: Do you have food and something to drink every day? A roof over your head? A computer? Acquaintances or relatives, friends or neighbors?
You have a body that is healthy as far as possible and even if you're sick, you're still alive! You can be happy in that moment, it's the only instant that exists right now...
Relax yourself, loosen the tightness in your face, loosen your jawbones, your tongue, let a half smile live : ) In- and exhale consciously. While you do that you could think: "Gee, I am ding so fine."
*
Every once a while you could think into your situation "I'm fine!" or "How fine I am!" or "Fortunately I'm so fine!" You might wonder why you had never noticed before : )
Living in the present also means to look into future, to make plans.
People who have no plan won't see it fulfilled.
For a good plan you need to also take care of dangers and risks.
But when fear takes too much space, when possible dangers and risks appear in our thoughts too often, a potentially successful plan can be damaged or blocked.
Start:
If you're likely to have diffuse fears or tend to repressive overcaution, you could embolden yourself for new things today.
You could sit now, sit with a straight spine, relax and relax your face, loosen jawbones and tongue, in- and exhale consciously, calm and relaxed, half smile in your face : )
*
in - out
courage - for new things
Instead of courage you might also think of other words: delight, strength, motivation, power, excitement, airiness.
Whatever supports you in accepting new things.
Who dares wins : )
I just should have...
It would have been...
If I only could make this undone...
Too late!
And no matter how much it grieves you and how angry you are or what thoughts of this quality you allow: Things that happened belong to the past already.
The earlier we get along with that and let go of old thoughts, the earlier we are free to take constructive care of the current, of today.
Today and now we can change things and do new things to work for the future. We are free to improve things or to make the same mistakes again : )
Start:
If you like, you could say goodbye to an old "I should have done... It would have been... Why couldn't it be..." today.
Take a simple example for an exercise: something that had no tragic aftermath for you or for others; something that was a little uneasy but still possible to handle for everybody ; )
Relax, and if you'd like to breathe for 2 minutes today you could think:
"I accept the past and I let go of it, it's gone and over"
Short form is enough, maybe you can find expressions that comfort you more.
Relax jawbones, tongue and face, half smile, breathe in calm concentration, in - out, in - out...
*
Accept the past - let go of things that are gone
Thoughts that you bind to the past with "should, could, would have been" expressions damage your efficacy in the present.
If you want to use your powers for the present and the future fully, it could be helpful to free them from the burdens of the past.
You can change NOTHING about the past anymore.
If it's a difficult topic it can be helpful to breathe more often for it : )
An argument: one word gives another, she says this, he answers that, both are right, both want to be right after all.
Mostly the argument participants produce emotions that are as different as people are. In the end you separate, you're displeased and maybe not peaceful. Both have to miss a happy feeling.
When you keep the argument alive then because you still think you're right and tell others about it, again and again, when you speak of all the details and look for affirmation that you're right, you go deeper and deeper into the argument, into the difficult feelings, into not-happiness.
What to do?
Start:
You could think of a situation like this today. Preferably take one that you already resolved with your argument partner.
Can you remember the point in time when the argument was over actually but you still tried to continue the argument? In your memory, in your thoughts, when speaking to others, maybe even with subsequent arguments?
In your thoughts, stop in the first point in time. When you breathe now imagine you could have done that back then already. Now you have the opportunity to breathe just until the fight is resolved : )
*
How do you feel about this exercise? It changes the past a little bit but that's okay.
When you find yourself in a situation like this the next time you could start breathing right away. In the evening in bed when the thoughts rise. You could imagine that that person suffers just like you and you could start forgiving him/her (and yourself) already.
Peace will rise from NOTHINGNESS easier when YOU give it enough space : )
How to do NOTHING:
Every day we get a new idea for doing NOTHING. Fortunately we can offer you the english translations for the 200 chapters! It's of avail to start with chapter 1.
Because it's one of the most difficult things, we might need some time to adapt. That's why we start with 1 minute during the first phase, January.
After getting inured, you may feel ready for some longer time. So February we'll try it with 2 minutes, in March you might feel able to spend 3 Minutes in doing NOTHING.
And please, don't enjoy what you do ; ) Doing NOTHING is something they always told us not to do, it cannot be a joy! Can it?
If you don't like to be patient, it's also OK. We know that millions of people are not able to do NOTHING, so don't be sad if you find yourself being like them. It's OK. Everything is OK.
Ready?
Please stop smoking, stop talking and thinking to yourself, switch off music, TV, your child, neighbor, telephone or whatever is doing SOMETHING around you.
It might be helpful to sit straight in front of your computer. Straight, but not uncomfortable, as you like it.
Now you might start reading and if you like even do an exercise.
.
We wish you all best,
Christiane Schinkel
P.S.
For a look into the complete german version
http://ich-tue-nichts-fuer-glueck-anmeldung.blogspot.com/
get the translation with
http://translate.google.com/
Fights can seem so bizarre to outsiders, just as bizarre as they actually are ; )
Empirically, one doesn't notice that when one's in the middle of a fight. Then it appears often that the other one is 'guilty'.
We are likely to say things like "You did this and that", "Only because of you..." or "It's your fault...".
Instead of saying "You did this and that" you could say
"When you did this, I felt really...", for example.
(only take the most important; too much unnecessary info would weaken your argument)
Instead of saying "Only because you..." you could say
"Just because I was so happy about..." or
"...because you're so important to me..." or
"...because I have the need for xyz", for example.
Now I feel xyz...
Instead of saying "It's your fault that..."
you could simply do without recrimination.
Start:
Today you could show yourself a conflict that you had with somebody recently.
In your thoughts you could tell this person very calmly when you felt angry or sad or disappointed or any other kind of difficulty.
Stay with yourself, your feelings, your needs.
Release tensions, unwind your face, mouth, jawbones, tongue, cheeks, forehead, temples, half smile, breathe in and out calmly, sense your breathing in your entire body.
You could breathe for 3 minutes today, just breathe and do NOTHING.
thoughts of peace for the USA : )
The past is gone. It would be helpful to find out about the conflict now so that you can find another better solution next time.
Naturally, there would be peace on earth if mankind hadn't invented war.
So it seems to be logical that man, all men are the key to peace.
Who could bring peace to the world?
The others? He or he or she or he or you?
No. Not even 'you' can bring peace to the world.
Only 'I' can do that. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'. And 'I'...
Start:
Today you could dedicate your thoughts to peace.
Relieve tensions, loosen tongue and jaws, half smile or slight grin in your face, bring all your attention to your body sensations.
You could think: I bring peace : )
If you'd like to just look at the painting and think of NOTHING, that's alright : ) Just as you like it and feel comfortable...
I bring peace
thoughts of peace for Iraq : )
If you know how peace feels you might imagine spreading this feeling all over the land.
Just like a cloud of good thoughts that spills out of you and reaches every tiny little corner of the country that you want to send your peace to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You could do this every day with another country.
From now on, every day we will show you one painting from the Marici project "One world - one future". There is one painting for every single one of the 208 countries and nations of the world, together they unite to one big painting of peace.
If you'd like to know more, click here:
http://www.marici.de/UntitledFrameset-8.htm
"From time to time there are days when I must do 10 things at the same time."
Needs must! If you feel okay with it!
You don't?
Then it's up to you:
You can organize these 10 things so that you can do them one after another.
Or you can change your perception and attitude so that you can at least enjoy the unavoidable.
Start:
You could remember the last time when you did too many things at once. Bring that feeling of stress back into your mind. Do you remember? What a stressful day, huh?
And now, today and here, you may laugh about that, or smile, or grin heartily or even roar with laughter!
Be delighted, you survived it; every day a new sun rises again : )
*
delight
in every moment
It's a matter of perception. We create it on our own.
When you're ready to be delighted intentionally even though or maybe just because you feel stressed at this moment, you could notice how your feelings for the situation change.
A tense situation can change so easily into a pleasant one, just with a simple smile or grin...
"Sometimes I have no sense for silence at all!"
We might be listening to loud music, TV's on, we are on the telephone, eating a chocolate bar or anything else, and along the way we think about something, doodle on a notebook, run around, carry things from here to there... all at once.
Alright! That's fine! Super!
As long as we know what we're actually doing...
Start:
When you do several things at once today, you could do that quite consciously.
At the same time observe everything with all your senses and enjoy it! Breathe, half smile, see, feel, scent, hear, taste, everything's possible!
*
pleasure in everything
The more intentional we look at the details, the more intense the experience of the moment gets.
Are you often so stressed that you don't even have time to stop and take a short reprieve?
Something's wrong then...
Don't you dare to pause or do you think you're more effective when you do something without taking breaks?
Especially when you're most stressed it's very helpful to pause and gather your thoughts. To be able to continue with a fresh mind. More calm and better than before.
Start:
Today you simply could take a short break. Preferably when you feel you're under pressure.
Sit down or stand up, in case you're doing a standing activity at the moment. Relax, half smile, let all the stress around you and all the thoughts moving in your head pass you by just for this single moment. You could think of the words below or of any other words that comfort you and calm you down. (What you'd like to be right now is best.) Observe your entire body. In- and exhale very quietly, very intentional and concentrated, 3 times or as often as you'd like to. Take your time : )
*
confident
calm and strong
How does that pause in the middle of the storm feel? Were you able to relax? Could you turn of the stress for a little while? How do you feel after that?
Maybe you're worried your colleagues or others could think you're lazy because you do NOTHING; then, just retreat to the bathroom. So you can spare possible jokes or discussions ; )
In communication between people it might happen that open conversation is avoided because one thinks that he knows what the other thinks and the other should also know what the one thinks...
You think so!
Interpersonal conflicts can be created easily when too much is being thought and not enough is being said free spoken.
Especially when it comes to sensitive topics like critique, dissension or needs and feelings.
If we do not talk things out, we might evoke conflicts that collect and get stronger; we carry these conflicts in us and that can even make us sick.
We can take better care of ourselves when we get more straightforward. It could be helpful to boost our courage and our self-confidence.
Start:
Today you could show yourself plainly a situation when you are inhibited to speak out what maybe aggrieves you, instead you believe that the other person must/should know on his/her own what's going on.
But he/she is no visionary, he/she can only know about matters when you speak them out openly in a friendly way and tell about your feelings. And that's for the well-being of the both of you : )
Relax your face, mouth, tongue, jaws, half smile for yourself, breathe very intentional, in and out, courageous - open : )
*
courageous - open
First of all, you may assume that the other person has no idea of what's going on in your thoughts.
That's why you're allowed to tell friendly how you feel and what you need. It's also good for the other one to know that you're not feeling fine. Otherwise, how could he/she change anything for you?
Avoid YOUmessages (you have, you are, but you!) and, instead, just tell about your feelings, needs and experiences.
This is how you stay with the truth, on the other hand you might be mistaken about the thoughts of the other person...
There is something amazing about the word combination "send love"!
What's that supposed to be?
It sounds so goofy...
Possibly. But this simple little combination of two words has such a fantastic effect, it became my favorite all-round word combination. What happened?
In the past I saw people that aroused antipathy, nasty thoughts or similar feelings in me, I couldn't stop that quickly enough, I couldn't stop it before I thought it... Oh, so gross, no, how embarrassing, oh no, hideous...
Before one's brain creates such thoughts one could make use of the all-round word combination "send love" and distract the bitter thoughts. Especially when one doesn't feel anything like love.
It works. Eventually, WE are the head of our brain, right? When our little friend is out of control and wants to think of something silly, we can simply change that; very easily!
Start:
You could get aware of a situation when you had unintentional ugly thoughts about somebody. The other person noticed that probably; our thoughts might be silent but they are very communicative as well.
If you'd like to spare that, IMMEDIATELY think the words "send love" when you notice that you're about to think something stupid.
*
"send love"
Actually we can't even explain what's happening there. One can only find it out on one's own. The more one uses it, the easier it gets.
Maybe it's enough for an explanation to say that there's friendly energy being created? Friendly energy that's positive for us.
And then it's positive for our environment. Respectively it saves them our trashy thoughts, and that's nice...
Now I am here.
And now I'm gone.
...oops, back again...
...and already gone again...
Does that happen to you from time to time, too?
In one moment you are present and woosh! in the next moment you don't even notice anything around you anymore.
Because a) you're dreaming or because b) you're worried about something.
If b) is the right answer for you, you might try something now.
Start:
You could detect when you loose yourself in thoughts. Observe what kind of thoughts those are:
Are they maybe memories; good ones (+) or not so good ones (-) ?
Or are they dreams; what are they about? Are they comforting you (+) or are they about a difficult matter (-) ?
Or maybe they are plans; do you plan to do something beautiful (+) or do you want to bother somebody (-) ?
Maybe it's one time this, another time that?
Observe yourself and if you'd like to, make a +/- list.
Relax your face, smile, take some intentional calm breaths, replenish with good words : )
*
happy
light
(or the words: send love)
What are the results of your balance? Do you have more (+) or more (-)?
If there are more (+) then you are probably doing fine, aren't you?
If there are more (-) then it's quite likely that you could do better...
And YOU can really take care of that. Simply stop your (-) thinkings and replace them with one or two good words.
That won't change your life instantly but it'll change your mood! And so, other things will get better, too.
You don't believe that? Try it... : )
"If you want to be treated well, treat others well."
What? What benefits are there for ME?
Are you asking yourself that now?
It's very simple:
Selfish people should still see that everything we send out to others will return sooner or later to us. That would allow selfish people to be good against others.
It's all about generousness. You can be good against others without harming yourself!
Start:
You could start with a small matter today, something that's easy for you. Think of a situation when you usually would push your own advantage. And now imagine leaving the advantage to another person.
For example, someone in the supermarket or in traffic jam wants to queue-jump. Normally you'd maybe fight for your place. Imagine you generously let the other person overtake you. THANK YOU!
Or you're having a meal and you'd usually take care to get the biggest portion. In your thoughts give it to someone else now. THANK YOU!
Or think of a beggar. Normally you'd think he should go and work just like everybody else and you. In your thoughts you're giving him a coin now. THANK YOU!
Straighten up and unwind, loosen your tongue and jaws, breathe consciously and calmly and experience your body sentiments. Do NOTHING... it feels so good... : )
*
If one succeeds to free his action from calculating thoughts, one can feel really free.
So free to be good against others even if there don't seem to be any benefits...
It's astonishing how many unexpected options can suddenly pop up : )
"You work, you make mistakes."
That's what an older colleague always used to say. So he succeeded to free the younger and inexperienced from big pressure. The consequence: less mistakes!
We might transfer this cognition to life in general.
We do our best. 'Mistakes' are natural in this matter. Admitting mistakes to us and others makes things easier to handle.
Easy things feel good. One will learn more easily when one feels good.
Why should we make it hard for us or others?
Start:
You could take something that you adjudge yourself for today and make it an important part of your development.
Maybe you adjudge yourself because of awkward behaviour like irascibility or addictive behaviour or complexes or blockades or lacking skills or whatever it may be.
Relax your face, loosen the tenseness in your jawbones and tongue, smile at yourself and breathe calm and free, in and out.
There you could think this sentence:
*
I may make this mistake
because I learn from it
Then remember a 'mistake' that that you adjudged someone else for. This person also has the right to make that 'mistake' and learn from it.
When you start being generous against yourself you'll see how easy it gets to be generous against others.
When somebody does something, we might get annoyed.
It might be helpful then to avoid the conflict and relax first.
We might acknowledge that the other person is doing his/her best possible. Then we are able to look at the conflict in a more objective way, independent from our emotions.
Interrupting the dynamic of a fight and forbearing from it is the first important step. With this distance we can get calm and react in a much more effective and constructive way.
Start:
If you're in the beginning of an argument you could think: "The person is doing or saying that because it's the only thing that seems to him/her to be right now. I accept this opinion even if it's very different from my opinion. I will get calm now and talk about the issue later."
Relax totally, especially your face and jaws with tongue, breathe calmly, allow a half smile : )
You could breathe very silently for 2 minutes and 40 seconds today. Notice all the sounds around you, notice all your thoughts and always get back to your breathing with your concentration. Your senses focus on your breath and your body and NOTHING else : )
*
How do you feel when you exit the spiral of arguments?
What other emotions besides the familiar ones do you feel?
How did you use the strength that was created by DOING NOTHING?
"(S)he must not do that!"
No? Why not?
Basically, on this planet one can do everything. Just take a look around.
Most peculiar things are being created by people.
There are dictatorships, wars, murders, burglary, exploitation, oppression, ecological destruction, starvation disasters, luxury, decadence, liberty excesses, famous people, drugs, virtual life, mass euphoria, religions, aid organisations, research, languages, cultures, art, politics - and this is just a short excerpt of things humans created up to now.
One can do everything; just as long as others tolerate it and just until there's reactions and consequences.
Indignation costs energy. Instead of just bristling, we could use this energy gainfully as we campaign concentrated and composed FOR us or something.
Start:
Today you might remember a situation when you just bristled at somebody's behaviour but did not go in for something.
Show yourself plainly, once again, the reason for the indignation, then breathe consciously 3 times, and feel free to smile : )
In your thoughts about the person, you now have the opportunity to formulate what feelings you had and which of your needs wasn't satisfied.
For example: "It made me sad that you called me a stupid cow yesterday, because my need for respectful acquaintance wasn't satisfied."
Or: "Last week you said you'd call me but you didn't, I felt disappointed, my need for reliability wasn't fulfilled."
Or: " You said you'd like to live together with me but I should pay for everything, that overburdens me. My need for equality is not fulfilled."
Or: "Yesterday I came home and saw that you ate all my cookies. I felt frustrated because i found my need for respect for my belongings not fulfilled."
*
Everything we do will lead to consequences. That's why everybody is responsible for their own deeds.
Being aware of this makes us free to do everything or to do nothing. And to concede it to others. When something bothers you, you should speak about it.
It might be really helpful to tell about your feelings and needs without any indignation.
"To have one's feet on the ground..."
Another saying...
No problem at all!
Start:
You could stand up, feet hip size apart, slightly crooked knees, arms hanging loosely on the sides.
Then, move your body forward over the toes and back over the heels. Swing gently back and forth, slowly, so that you can keep the balance. Play with the center of your gravity. Confidently close your eyes.
After having swung back and forth a few times, commute between your feet. Consciously feel the weight that is now spreading equally all over your feet. Stand still for a few more breaths and feel the contact and connection of your feet with the ground.
*
Down to earth means the present moment that you're in right now. When you feel your feet on the ground you can sense the earth holding you. As long as you keep the balance in the middle.
This exercise is good for those who feel they've fallen out of their middle and want to center again.
"We reap what we sow."
Who can possibly come up with something like that?
This saying maybe a few days old already.
Because it's traditional up to today we might think that there's something true about it.
In this coherence, what would it mean if we expected enviousness, a pack of lies and cheating, if we assume that others want to harm us or that things will fail?
Even if our environment were independent from our thoughts and expectations, still the one that thinks of such negative things would receive his invoice therewith: (s)he must live with those negative expectations and bear them.
How uncomfortable...
Start:
A person that you usually have negative expectations of might pass you by today. Pick someone easy, maybe a neighbor, the grumpy salesperson, a colleague or someone whose eyes seem to tell you that (s)he thinks about you respectively dislikes you.
Or take someone that you dislike, even though you don't really know this person, maybe just because (s)he seems unsightly to your eyes.
When you come across this person, in the first split second, you could intentionally think something completely different than you usually think:
That is to say "send love".
If that appears to be too unfamiliar or too odd for you, you might also think "send blitheness". That's just as good.
It's helpful when you relax the face, put on a half smile and maybe breathe consciously 1 or 2 times.
*
How did it feel?
Which thoughts came up? Could you remain with your benevolent thoughts or did you turn to your usual thinking again?
How did the other person react? What differences could you notice? Could you reap anything new after your sowing? ; )
Everybody who wants to change his/her thoughts into benevolent thoughts can do that very easily with the help of awareness and endurance : )
Do you sometimes wake up at night?
In this moment of waking up, how does your face feel?
And, actually, how do you feel when you wake up at night? Although you could sleep more...
When we realize that we woke up we have different options to react.
If we turn around and sleep in, everything is fine.
If we stay awake, maybe even for a longer while, when we toss and turn, we are likely to feel uneasy. Possibly our face might even tense up!
Although night is for recreation actually...
In case that happens more often to us we might think of NOT staying awake already while waking up. And because we do NOT want that it might be even more exhausting to still have to do it: staying awake.
Start:
If you wake up this night or in one of the following nights you could make a small experiment:
As soon as you realize that you're waking up you could smile.
Just like that, even if you don't feel like!
You might come across an interesting phenomena : )
Casually you could think of a nice word, e. g. 'relaxed' or 'feel rested' or 'happy', 'satisfied', whatever comes into your mind and makes you strong. It enriches the effect...
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Probably you'll be awake for a little longer. But that's easier to take with nice comfortable thoughts than with nasty ones. Don't you think so?
In our lives we are accompanied by so many things. Most of them are supposed to help us and make our lives easier.
There's the bed, we lie and sleep in it, it's comfortable, the blanket that keeps us warm, the water-tap that gives us water, the toilet that sometimes even has a heating, ready to serve us, there's clothes, a table, a chair, food, a plate, a cup, the bike, the car, the underground, an airplane, the telephone, the computer, the pen, glasses, paper, books... and a few things more : )
Often we use those things as if they were most normal. And we only see how precious they are after we've lost them.
There is a positive effect when we appreciate ourselves more. There's the same positivity when we get aware of the things around us and appreciate them more.
Start:
Today you might get aware of every single thing that is there to serve and help you.
If you like, give attention to all the things that are around you; thank them or be thankful THAT they exist - they exist for you : )
Thank you cup, thank you shoes, thank you pen, thank you things and stuff!
Loosen all your face muscles, jawbones, tongue, allow a half smile, breathe in and breathe out, conscious and calm with every single breath : )
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The word 'Thank you' is so helpful because it shows you that you received something.
Even if the chair you're sitting on is a matter of course for you - you can give yourself the feeling that you got a 'gift' in this way.
And that just feels good, doesn't it?
Costs NOTHING, by the way : ))
Coming it strong, right?
"When I get up on the wrong side in the morning, everything will fail, the whole day..."
Well, maybe. But it needn't be ; )
If we let ourselves be influenced by the first little dilemmas of the day and tune in to the belief that the whole day will be like this... what chance is there left to make it different?
And how could the day take course if we just take the dilemmas easy? And allow ourselves to feel good on the inside?
Maybe the day didn't take course like we thought it would but we needn't call it 'wrong'.
Start:
You could carry a word with you today that calms you, strengthens you, builds you up, encourages you or helps you in any other way.
For example, if you have a difficult task to do you could think of 'easy' several times, when you're not concentrated think of 'fresh' again and again, when scared think of 'safe and protected', when angry think of 'peaceful and happy', when you're in a bad mood think of 'happy', when you have to deal with someone who's difficult for you to handle you could think 'send love' again and again. (It's sufficient to think of the words only!)
And, additionally, if you succeed to relax your face for a while and to smile at yourself, that's twice as good for you : )
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First and foremost you can send the good feeling to yourself so that you're strengthened and fine.
It's fascinating how often this takes over on other people around us.
And if not, then at least you're in the good mood, feeling fine : )
The first thought is often the best one.
Why actually?
The first thought is mostly spoken without any thinking, it's born out of feelings. You can also call it intuition.
Getting aware of our decisions we come across two categories: There's helpful decisions and others that are not helpful, for ourselves or also for others.
When our decision turns against our emotional well-being and consequences bring us malaise, we can notice that. Then it's good to go on thinking about the best solution.
But still very often your first intuitional ideas or decisions are the best ones.
Observing this more and more often lets us put more trust in our own feeling.
Start:
If you'd like to breathe today, sit with a straight spine, still relaxed, in a comfortable position.
Relax your face, jawbones, tongue, half smile, and right before you start, pick a word that's going to be the word of your strengthening today.
Take the first one that comes into your mind... as long as it is good for your well-being. If you don't think it's good, just find a new one : )
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In the inside we know best what we need. It's a sign of trust in ourselves when we listen better to our feeling and to ourselves.
Have a nice day!
The urge to get more than we already have is pushing us forward. This can be good because it brings motivation.
It's big deficiency when we let ourselves be pushed to want more and more of something than it is good for us or others.
The urge towards 'too much' in us shows us that there is a 'too little' in us.
You can't always find out quickly which unconscious 'too little' it is. But there's one thing that always helps when there's an unconscious 'too little'...
Love.
And for this we don't need anybody and NOTHING but ourselves!
Self love and charity are enough, we can give both of them to ourselves. There's always enough of it, when we need it. We just need to say it.
Start:
Whenever you take too much and you take more than is good for you, you can get aware of the fact that you got deficiency.
You could confront that deficiency with appreciation and love today. If you can't sense a feeling of love in that situation, that's fine. It's just fine when you repeat the word 'love' in your mind. Depending on how big your deficiency is you might repeat it more often or also for a longer time.
Breathe and totally relax your face. Tell yourself:
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love - love
love for me
Sounds goofy? Possibly.
But that's beside the point, because it works. Try it : )
...then NOTHING can become everything!
What?
Who can tell about the situation when you want to have more and more even though you already have enough? When we're still insatiable even though we get what we want.
People who experienced drugs can tell about that. This phenomena also appears in alcohol and also in daily things like eating, Internet, TV, collecting, shopping, working, laziness, backbiting, earning money, making complaints, bringing someone to trial, cleanliness, disorderliness, boasting; some may know it with sports. Or people on a diet.
Basically there's every form and possibility of 'too much' in our life. Our world is so free, it gives us all the forms of 'too much'. We can decide freely how we want to experience the 'too much'.
It's definitely interesting why we feel the need for this or that 'too much'.
And it's even more interesting how we can slow down the rotary spiral or stop it.
Start:
Today you could choose a topic or a thing that you'd like to have less of. Pick something easy!
Maybe it's a quarter hour of channel-hopping in the evening, the third seconds of dessert, checking emails or facebook ten times an hour, the 20th cigarette, or the last glass, or the 4th chocolate bar or whatever satisfies you in moderation but can't make you happy with 'more'.
Just observe yourself while being excessive, while you reach the point when you can't be satisfied anymore. Remember that this point exists.
And if you succeed, remember the feeling you have right before you reach the point.
That's the whole exercise. NOTHING more...
Now you could breathe, maybe 2 minutes and 15 seconds? Or 3 times? Relax your face, your mouth with tongue and jawbones, half smile, breathe consciously and in your natural rhythm, you'll become more and more calm : )
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Could you recognize the point already, the point when 'enough' turns into 'too much'?
The feeling you have about this turning point can help you to get to know your own limits. That's why it's so helpful to observe it precisely and remember it.
Then you can go on just like before. Maybe you'd like to see how it is to stop before the limit another time.
It's always your decision and it's always in your own will, that's the beautiful about it.
Just like the glass that is often half empty but half full we like to value our deeds critically instead of benevolently.
Maybe we could have acted in another way, better way. Seeing this is good. It's required to do things better the next time.
But leaving too much space for depreciative critique works demoralizing and not improving. That'll discourage us.
Delight, even about the smallest achievements, can be immensely motivating. Delight is delight, it's good, fun and costs NOTHING : )
Start:
You could think of a situation today when you made a mistake and judged yourself afterwards. Maybe you tried to behave less angry, expecting, resentful, dominant or unpunctual or disaffected or whatever.
And then you fell into old behaviors again.
Today be delighted about your decision to change and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Every single attempt is enough reason to be delighted and may motivate you to go on. Every day, every hour, every second again.
Relax, loosen your face muscles, tongue and jawbones, conscious and calm breath and half smile, it makes you so beautiful : )
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Delight is a state that we can create consciously.
As soon as we notice that we care about the 'bad' stuff too much we get to have the opportunity to change our view.
The glass just feels so much better when it's half full instead of half empty : )
When we want to learn something new, mostly we imagine how it would be if we only already had the new ability. That's a nice feeling! Inspiring and pleasing : )
And then we begin. Practice or learn. That's likely to be not as inspiring. From time to time we also give up on goals because they seem to be too hard to reach.
Let's take the example of anger.
It's a nice image not being angry anymore. When we start to deal with that we can see it very clear in front of our inner eye: forthwith we are always totally relaxed, always able to react in a friendly way.
So far so good.
That'll maybe work quite well for a while, our reactions are more composed.
And then all of a sudden we go ballistic again. And possibly we think "I'll never learn that...". And with this attitude that might be right ; )
So, how could we do it better?
Start:
You could think of something that you'd like to change today. Maybe it's anger or punctuality, shyness or creditableness or whatever you might think of.
For difficult tasks you could try to take them step by step.
If your topic is anger for example, take one of the many occasions that normally make you angry quickly. For the beginning one is enough, pick something easy still.
When you're confronted with the situation the next time, comment on what you experience.
"Picked the wrong waiting queue in the supermarket again... yeah, that's annoying (breathe). Today i choose to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
"I dropped my marmalade roll upside down on the floor again... What a mess! (breathe) Today i choose to stay calm. (breathe and smile)"
"Oh, someone else's hair in the sink again... Disgusting! (breathe) Today I decide to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
"Oh, he or she is doing this and that again... Yes, that's really unpleasant (breathe). Today I decide to stay calm (breathe and smile)."
Relax, loosen tensions in your face, your jaws and tongue, take a half smile, in- and exhale quietly and consciously : )
2 minutes and 20 seconds? Or 3 times? Just as you like : )
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butter roll upside down - calm and relaxed : )
How did the situation feel? Which feelings in you could you discover?
Was there a new feeling in the old situation? Compared to your old reaction, how was your new reaction?
If you were able to react in a new way or if you didn't react in a new way but still were able to observe yourself. that's success!
You can be happy! We're also happy for you!
"I never really was able to do this!"
"That was never one of my magnitudes"
Aha.
It's always been like that? And it's left to be like that?
Good.
In case you'd like to change something about that, make it more better or easier, you could start now to re-think the matter.
Maybe it happened before that you couldn't cycle or swim. Just until the point when you learned to cycle and swim... because you decided to broaden and change your abilities.
The decision to do that was just a thought. This thought was powerful. When we start to think about changing things we already started to carry them out.
With the power of strong good thoughts, with our decision.
Start:
You could think of something that in your opinion "has always been" like that. Something that you might like to change.
Being on time never really was your strength?
Or did you always feel uncomfortable with new things? Or did you never make your own money before? Or has it never been your magnitude to be independent from others? Or did you always think of yourself as a pessimist? Or maybe you never really could admit your own faults in front of others?
That's totally alright for somewhen you decided to do like that. Even if you can't remember it.
If you'd like to decide to change this today you can simply do it.
Relax, relax your face muscles, your tongue and your jaws, put on a half smile.
When you in- and exhale consciously now you could think: "I now decide to learn the ability XY. I can do that... (e. g. cycling, swimming, being on time or whatever you'd like to be able to do from now on)."
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Yes - I can
After 2 minutes of breathing you possibly won't have learned the ability : )
But you already did the most important step: you made your decision. You'll be amazed about yourself, future things could go along just like that...
Have the heart to believe in yourself! You can do more than you'd ever imagine : )
You can decompose an experience into several segments when you'd like to feel more intensely.
When you put your attention on every single step, you can feel every step much better. Details become more present.
Many know this from unpleasant affairs. You notice every disturbing little thing if you're once focused on "the disturbing things".
But you can do it the same way with focusing on "the nice things": )
Start:
You could pick an easy pleasant activity today. A short course is totally enough. Comment on every detail that you see, hear and experience.
For example: You might comment on how you wash your hands.
How you stand in front of the washbowl, how you open the water-tap with your one hand, how you pull your hand back and move it under the water, how you move your other hand under the water, how you feel the water running over your hands, how you rub your hands, how one hand takes the soap, how you rub it between your hands, how the soap spreads all over your hands and fingers, how you rub your soapy hands, how the water runs over your hands again and washes the soap away, how you rub your hands until all the soap is gone, how your hand moves to the water-tap and turns it off, how the last drops over water run, how you shake the water off your hands, how the water drops fly around, how you take the towel, the contact between the towel and your hands, how you rub your hands with the towel until your hands are dry.
You could breathe consciously while you do that, probably this doesn't even take 2 minutes...
Or you could do some breathings now; relax face with a half smile, loosen jawbones and tongue, in- and exhale silently and consciously, it's very simple : )
*
So many things have not come to pass. You simply washed your hands, just like a thousand times before.
Really?
"I feel so bad!"
Who didn't experience that feeling before?
When we notice that we feel uncomfortable we say that we feel bad.
And, in fact, mostly this is because we focus on the thing that makes us feel uneasy.
In this moment we feel less of our actual presence, our body itself and our body senses.
What if we change our attention now? We can do that, even if there are circumstances that make us feel uneasy.
We just need to feel ourselves, feel good...
Start:
You could try to focus on feeling today in order to really feel yourself.
For example you might feel every single drop of water falling on your skin when you shower, every single tooth feels the brush rubbing and cleaning, when you walk along a street feel the ground under your feet and the gentle breeze in your hair, the sun on your skin and its warmth, the tasty liquid in your mouth when you drink, the air sliding down your trachea...
You could feel everything around you and think:
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I feel - so good : )
Sensation of reality is quite a subjective affair.
There's lots of good feelings every day and you can feel them all if you just get aware of them; and thereby feel good.
How do you feel when you concentrate on a state of your choice? How do you feel when you get aware that you can feel good? In every situation?
When we're very busy, it might be difficult for us to give into conscious breathing.
There is a nice possibility to make it easier for us: We can simply feel the breath with the hands!
Start:
When you sit or lie and breathe today you could put your hands on your belly, on the sides of your ribcage or on your chest right under your wishbones. You could also put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. Just as it comforts you. Maybe you'll try the different ways?
You could feel your breath for 2 minutes and 15 seconds today.
Relax yourself and your face, jawbones and tongue, half smile. Observe your physical breathing consciously. Every time your thoughts drift away, get them back to your breathing in a friendly but concrete way : )
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feel your breath
How did you feel about your breath when you put your hands on? How did you manage with your concentration?
When we feel too excited we might try to put our hands on our body and come to silence in this way.
Peace is a beautiful thing.
If you wouldn't have to fight anymore, if nobody harmed you anymore, if you needn't be mean against others anymore, if nobody shot others anymore, if bombs were not thrown anymore, no children killed, no men, no women...
That's lots of advantages.
How often do you find yourself non-peaceful? Thoughts that are actually quite feisty: "He's about to fail... and he deserves it!" or "I'll blow you away just like this, you bloody middle lane driver!" or "Aim and: bang!" or "Damn it, stupid butter wrapping!" or "You should be quartered, you damned entangled cable!" or maybe you can think of any other examples?
Start:
Today you could get aware of situations of inner war. How often do we think non-peacefully? The next times it happens to you you might get aware of it. Then you could be happy about it, happy because you noticed it. And maybe breathe 3 times : )
If you'd like to breathe consciously for 2 minutes today, you could start now. Relax yourself, release tensions in your face, jawbones and tongue, concentrate with all your senses on your breathing. Let noises and thoughts pass you by silently. You could think of the word 'peace' or 'peaceful' today.
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peace for me
How could world peace be possible when we fight 'small wars' in our head from time to time?
Most of us would like to be happy. But when are we happy?
For many of us happiness lies in the future:
When I'm grown up I can do whatever I want and be happy, children think;
When I'm finished with school I can be happy, teenagers think;
When I finish my training I can be happy, young adults think;
or when I finally have a job, or
when I reach a higher career level, or
when I make more money, or
when I get a boyfriend or girlfriend, or
when I get my own house, or
when I finally have a family, or
when there's holidays, when the children are out of the house, when I retire...
Happiness, is it a point in time or a space of time?
Does happiness always lie in the future?
If we assume it to be only there, we would never get to have it in the present...
Start:
Today you could get aware of your happiness as you find it under the given circumstances.
The things you have are enough of a reason to feel happy: Do you have food and something to drink every day? A roof over your head? A computer? Acquaintances or relatives, friends or neighbors?
You have a body that is healthy as far as possible and even if you're sick, you're still alive! You can be happy in that moment, it's the only instant that exists right now...
Relax yourself, loosen the tightness in your face, loosen your jawbones, your tongue, let a half smile live : ) In- and exhale consciously. While you do that you could think: "Gee, I am ding so fine."
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Every once a while you could think into your situation "I'm fine!" or "How fine I am!" or "Fortunately I'm so fine!" You might wonder why you had never noticed before : )
Living in the present also means to look into future, to make plans.
People who have no plan won't see it fulfilled.
For a good plan you need to also take care of dangers and risks.
But when fear takes too much space, when possible dangers and risks appear in our thoughts too often, a potentially successful plan can be damaged or blocked.
Start:
If you're likely to have diffuse fears or tend to repressive overcaution, you could embolden yourself for new things today.
You could sit now, sit with a straight spine, relax and relax your face, loosen jawbones and tongue, in- and exhale consciously, calm and relaxed, half smile in your face : )
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in - out
courage - for new things
Instead of courage you might also think of other words: delight, strength, motivation, power, excitement, airiness.
Whatever supports you in accepting new things.
Who dares wins : )
I just should have...
It would have been...
If I only could make this undone...
Too late!
And no matter how much it grieves you and how angry you are or what thoughts of this quality you allow: Things that happened belong to the past already.
The earlier we get along with that and let go of old thoughts, the earlier we are free to take constructive care of the current, of today.
Today and now we can change things and do new things to work for the future. We are free to improve things or to make the same mistakes again : )
Start:
If you like, you could say goodbye to an old "I should have done... It would have been... Why couldn't it be..." today.
Take a simple example for an exercise: something that had no tragic aftermath for you or for others; something that was a little uneasy but still possible to handle for everybody ; )
Relax, and if you'd like to breathe for 2 minutes today you could think:
"I accept the past and I let go of it, it's gone and over"
Short form is enough, maybe you can find expressions that comfort you more.
Relax jawbones, tongue and face, half smile, breathe in calm concentration, in - out, in - out...
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Accept the past - let go of things that are gone
Thoughts that you bind to the past with "should, could, would have been" expressions damage your efficacy in the present.
If you want to use your powers for the present and the future fully, it could be helpful to free them from the burdens of the past.
You can change NOTHING about the past anymore.
If it's a difficult topic it can be helpful to breathe more often for it : )
An argument: one word gives another, she says this, he answers that, both are right, both want to be right after all.
Mostly the argument participants produce emotions that are as different as people are. In the end you separate, you're displeased and maybe not peaceful. Both have to miss a happy feeling.
When you keep the argument alive then because you still think you're right and tell others about it, again and again, when you speak of all the details and look for affirmation that you're right, you go deeper and deeper into the argument, into the difficult feelings, into not-happiness.
What to do?
Start:
You could think of a situation like this today. Preferably take one that you already resolved with your argument partner.
Can you remember the point in time when the argument was over actually but you still tried to continue the argument? In your memory, in your thoughts, when speaking to others, maybe even with subsequent arguments?
In your thoughts, stop in the first point in time. When you breathe now imagine you could have done that back then already. Now you have the opportunity to breathe just until the fight is resolved : )
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How do you feel about this exercise? It changes the past a little bit but that's okay.
When you find yourself in a situation like this the next time you could start breathing right away. In the evening in bed when the thoughts rise. You could imagine that that person suffers just like you and you could start forgiving him/her (and yourself) already.
Peace will rise from NOTHINGNESS easier when YOU give it enough space : )
thoughts of peace for the USA : )
